JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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