the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
