So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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