I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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