I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
