Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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