in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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