Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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