Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
