The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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