thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
