My first STD was from a foam party
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
