found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron