so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!