I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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