____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
