would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
