I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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