What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
