My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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