i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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