She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
