yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
