i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
