If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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