I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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