Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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