I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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