Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you win again, gameday.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
