That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
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Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
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IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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