his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
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