Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
