I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
