Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
im six kinds of drunk right now
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
