Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
barbara walters just said penis...
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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