I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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