How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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