He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Who died my cat blue again?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
