So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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