found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
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No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
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I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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