I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
