As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
