Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dignity is for republicans.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
