i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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