how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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