Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
