I hate all girls vehemently.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
