I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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