Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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