4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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