I'm gonna have a badass scar
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I need a burrito and a hug.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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