and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
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