Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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