They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Is it because I queefed?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
