Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?