I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
