Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
