Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
