You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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