Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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