I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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