youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
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